Refreshing!

Sunday, in church, I came across the usual sympathizers and anecdote tellers (although I managed to avoid the inevitable belly rubbers). However, I came across a new and refreshing experience as well.

There is a woman in the choir (I cannot recall her name. I feel terrible about this, but there are many people who know me that I cannot recall their name.) who was very helpful. She started out the conversation by asking me how I felt. I do not mince words (as I am sure those who keep up with me have noticed) so I told her exactly how I felt. I want to deliver this baby. I feel heavy, tired, uncomfortable, and impatient to meet this new little person. After commiserating with me for a minute on the discomforts of the third trimester she grabbed my hand and started to pray. I know people are praying for me and with me as I have been venturing on this whole pregnancy adventure (believe me, I have felt the prayers), but it was something else to have somebody suddenly pray in my presence. What she prayed for specifically was what has been on my mind the most lately. She prayed for a safe and healthy labor and delivery, a continued healthy pregnancy, and a healthy baby. I admit it. I cried. I always cry when someone prays for me in my presence. I guess it is up there with remembering that God actually cares for me personally.

She has done this before. She grabbed me and prayed for me when I was in my second trimester. Again, she hit every prayer request on the head without me telling her what to pray for. Every time she has done this has been right after a session of obsessing and brooding on all the things that "could" happen. It is amazing to me how the Holy Spirit is always reminding me to trust Him. I know in my head that He is totally in control, but sometimes I forget to apply this to my life. Why? It is not like He has EVER let me down before. What gets me is that everytime I pray I know we will be okay. It is the times when I think to much without telling God about it that I start to freak out.

So. How do I apply this? The thing to do is to remember to never think without "thinking aloud" to God. Right? Every time I do it this way my brooding sessions always turn into praise sessions. It is not like God is going to be offended. He already covered all my stupid brooding and doubts with the blood of Jesus. (Why am I crying now? Is it the hormones or the fact that it is 0420 and I need to be in bed, but would be fired from my job if I went to sleep right now? Maybe a combination of the two...) So. From now on. Think aloud to God. Yep. That's what I am gonna have to do. All thinking must go to the Boss because not only is He the Boss, He is also the "freak less" guy. Every time I freak out to God he calms me down and causes me to freak less. I guess that is my lesson. That. and. How awesome is it to have true believers around? The woman at church (don't even know her name and don't really need to) is truly doing her job as a sister in Christ. She comes along side me, takes my hand, and brings me to God. I know that it is a Holy Spirit thing. As if we could really do that kind of thing of our own volition.

Pregnant lady crankasaurus rantings and ravings

I like to think I am usually pretty even keel when it comes to temperament, but I am turning into a crankasaurus. This pregnancy thing has been pretty cool. I mean, having a separate human being growing in my belly is a pretty neat thought.

It is not neat anymore. He is heavy and digging into my pelvis. He is no longer a cute little wriggle worm. No he is a giant kick boxing baby and the punching bag is my ribs and liver and stomach. He will probably be very cute and wriggly when he is born, but for now I am annoyed. Instead of David Matthew we are going to have to call him Paul Bunion and paint poor Milhaud blue. (I just read over all that and realized what horrible things these are to say about my child. Please keep in mind that I do not dislike my son. I just think we both might be more comfortable with him on the outside.)

Yesterday morning my mother bore the brunt of my crankiness as she is the one I talk to in order to keep myself awake on the way home from work. Sunday night I had two nurses declare that I will be pregnant all the way up to 42 or 43 weeks because I have a midwife. Folks, I have no sense of humor anymore. That is just not funny and won't be funny for at least a few months yet. It is just wrong and quite discouraging. When a person is apt to cry at the drop of a hat it is just downright mean to curse them with the misery of 3rd trimester pregnancy for 2-3 weeks past their due date.

I understand that there are few at work who "approve" of my choice of having a midwife instead of a doctor (although, lets face it, I am pregnant, not sick). However, I believe I have actually received better and less paranoid prenatal care than I would have with an OBGYN. Midwives are all about prevention where as most doctors wait for the problem to crop up and then deal with it with multiple interventions that could have been avoided with a little teaching. Doctors are great and wonderful for high risk pregnancies, but mine is not high risk. Also, my midwife does not sit around during the third trimester waiting for the body to figure out how to go into labor. She provides well researched herbal supplements that prepare the body naturally for labor and assist the cervix with dilation. If the doctor thinks labor isn't coming fast enough (or if their patient is whiney enough) they will go ahead and induce labor. If that doesn't work there is always a c-section! For those reading this that have chosen an OBGYN, please do not think I am judging you. To each his own (or better yet, her own). I just don't appreciate being looked down upon for my choice. So I choose to have a midwife instead of a doctor. How does this hurt my judgy nursing peers? So I choose to labor without analgesic or epidural. How does this effect them? It is my body and I have the right to choose the labor and care that is best for me. I do not try to convince others to do the same. In fact I encourage my childbirth class people to follow their doctor's advice and orders and I encourage them to get an epidural if they feel that will provide the best experience for them.

Ok. So. I guess I feel better now. Please understand that I am really not a terrible person. I am just uncomfortable. I am also getting to the point where I am ready to meet this new person. I think he is going to be a neat kid and I am anxious to get to know him (that, and it is daddy's turn to carry him around for awhile ;-) ). Please continue to pray with me for a continued healthy pregnancy, a healthy delivery, and a healthy baby who will follow his namesake and become a man after God's own heart.