Welp. I'm sure you, whomever you may be that chooses to read my few and far between blogs, know by now that I am preggers once again. Actually, I am very excited. I've had the baby bug since October. Baby is due end of August/beginning of September. I choose not to include a due date for the same reasons of last time - people harrass towards the end with statements like, "You still haven't had that baby?" and "Wasn't your due date two weeks ago?"
I also have a ton of worries. There are the usual worries of miscarriage, preterm labor, gestational diabetes, preterm rupture, preeclampsia, chromosomal problems, Placenta or vasa previa, and every other worry that comes with being a pregnant antepartum nurse. However, I also have the worries about the delivery. I really want a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarian).
I have already been asked a dumbfounded "WHY?!?!" by my biggest skeptic at my job, who I am glad to say is going to work somewhere else. The reason being I feel cheated out of the birth experience I wanted with David. Ok. I know, and have preached this knowledge to my birthing class students, the whole purpose of labor and delivery is to give birth to a living, healthy baby and the means is unimportant. Unfortunately, being obsessed with this area in nursing, I really want to experience a vaginal birth. First of all, recovery is shorter, less painful, and there is less risk for infection. Second of all, I just really want the experience. I want to be able to say, "I did it! I accomplished that." A repeat, scheduled c-section is too easy. I know. Everybody wants the easy delivery. Why go through all the trouble if you don't have to, right? Well. I want to. Why should I feel guilty about that?
So, with a planned VBAC come many other worries. A VBAC is riskier than a regular, run of the mill vaginal delivery. A VBAC carries with it the possibility of uterine rupture. However, there have been recent studies that show that a VBAC may be safer than a repeat C-section.
Now, the next thing is (and this is how you can pray, if you are still reading) is to find an OB provider that we can afford and will support a VBAC. We loved the midwife we had last time, but she is out of network for our insurance and we can't just pay for it like we did last time. I was working full time then and we didn't have any other children. Please be praying for the search.
All these worries and what is my solution? Pray like a beast. Ok, so that may not be an actual phrase, but I have been. Maybe, pray like a squeaky wheel is a better term. I Thesselonians 5:17-18 says, "Pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." It doesn't say God will give you everything you want. It is just a simple command to not stop praying. So that is what I will do. I know God will give us what is best for us because He promised He would. So I keep praying.
